Open Till Midnight: The Ultimate Empire Records Fansite

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EMPIRE RECORDS.

Written by:  Carol Heikkinen
Directed by:  Allan Moyle
Transcribed by:  Andrew Mowbray. Andrew.Mowbray@durham.ac.uk
Edited by:  Susan Richards.  gluing_quarters@yahoo.com

Disclaimer:  I do not own the characters in this story, nor do I own any rights to the film.
 
This is not a novelization or an (original) script. It is a straightforward and dry transcript of the film "Empire Records". It also includes descriptions of the settings, action scenes and camera movements where I felt they were needed.

Every effort was made to accurately transcribe the dialogue from the movie. If you notice any errors in the transcript, then please let me know, and an update will be made.

*** denotes songs in the movie

Version 1.2.

FADE IN

SHOT OF EMPIRE RECORDS - A MUSIC STORE  *** "The Honeymoon Is Over" the Cruel Sea ***

CUT TO AN OFFICE

GINA
Joe?

LUCAS
Gina.

GINA
Lucas? What are you doing in here?

LUCAS
My life has reached its pinnacle ... Joe's letting me close the store tonight.

GINA
You're kidding.

LUCAS
I am not.

GINA
Big responsibility, Lucas.

LUCAS
Yes, but Joe's rules are extremely simple. Count money twice, keep my hands off of his beer, cigars, and drumsticks.

GINA
My, my, how will you remember it all? Good luck ... don't screw it up ....

LUCAS
A responsibility like this requires the obedience of a saint.

CUT TO LUCAS COUNTING MONEY ETC.  LUCAS FINDS SOME PAPERS IN A DRAWER.

LUCAS
Music Town franchise Option Agreement?

PUTS ACETATE IN FRONT OF PICTURE OF STORE

LUCAS
They've gotta be kidding. In the immortal words of the Doors: "The time to hesitate is through".

CUT TO LUCAS GOING TO ATLANTIC CITY.   *** "I Don't Wanna Live Today" Ape Hangers ***

ROULETTE EMPLOYEE
No more bets.

LUCAS
22.

ROULETTE EMPLOYEE
22 black.

GAMBLER
Who was that guy?

CRAPS CROUPIER
Bets, end of roll. New roller. Place your bets please ladies and gentlemen. Place your bets down .... We have a high roller.

LUCAS 
$9104. I counted it ... twice.

FEMALE GAMBLER 
I like your style.

LUCAS 
Well, Joe told me to count it twice.

CRAPS CROUPIER 
No more bets please ladies and gentlemen. Place your bets down, place your bets down.

LUCAS 
So, do I just throw it and get a seven?

CRAPS CROUPIER
That would be very good sir.

FEMALE GAMBLER 
Feeling lucky?

LUCAS 
I'm guided by a force much greater than luck.

CRAPS CROUPIER
Seven! A winner!

FEMALE GAMBLER 
Baby, you are sex.

LUCAS 
I know.

CRAPS CROUPIER
Same lucky shooter, put your bets down ladies and gentlemen. Hot shooter on the line.

LUCAS 
You know what? ... Let it ride.

CRAPS CROUPIER
Hot dice coming out.

MALE GAMBLER 
That's an $18000 bet. You sure you know what you're doing kid?

LUCAS 
I know this: That if I win this roll I will save the place where I work from being sold and the jobs of my friends that work there, thus striking a blow at all that is evil and making this world a better place to live in.

FEMALE GAMBLER 
Huh?

LUCAS 
And I'll buy you guys a drink.

GAMBLERS
Oh....

CRAPS CROUPIER
No more bets ladies and gentlemen, get your bets down.

LUCAS 
Joe, this one's for you.

CRAPS CROUPIER
Two. Craps. End of roll.

FEMALE GAMBLER 
You know something? You used to be cute.

MALE GAMBLER 
And you used to have nine thousand bucks.

LUCAS 
I wonder if I'll be held responsible for this?

CUT TO MORNING. LUCAS ASLEEP ON HIS MOTORBIKE

AJ
Lucas! Hey, Lucas? Hey, Lucas? What the hell you doing here, man?

LUCAS
Something happened to me last night. In Atlantic City.

AJ
Oh, you went to Atlantic City?

MARK
Wow ... did you win anything?

LUCAS
No. I did not win. So if you guys ever wonder if it was nice to know you, I tell you now that it was.

AJ
Shit, man. What happened? What happened?

LUCAS
I do not regret the things that I have done but those I did not do.

AJ
Lucas, how much? How much? ... Shit!

MARK
AJ, what do you mean by shit, man? What's up, huh?

AJ
Well Lucas doesn't have any money, and Joe let him close the store last night.

MARK
So? Heh heh. Oh. Huh. I guess he didn't live up to the responsibility of the position did he?

AJ
No, not the full responsibility.

MARK
Oh, yeah.

AJ
Uh-oh shut up. Hey what's up Joe?

MARK
Hey, Joe. What's up with the 'boss' threads, man?

JOE
Friggin' Rex Manning Day.

MARK
What's up with the hostility Joe?

AJ
(singing)
Say no more, mon amour ...

MARK
(singing)
Lips are for kissing baby je t'adore. Umwah!

JOE, AJ AND MARK ENTER STORE.PHONE STARTS RINGING

JOE
Mark! ... Phone.

MARK
Oh, oh.

MARK ANSWERS PHONE

MARK
(into phone)
Empire Records open til midnight this is Mark ... Yeah.
(to Joe)
Hey, it's the bank.

JOE
(into phone)
Yeah it's Joe ... are you sure?

OTHER PHONE RINGS - MARK ANSWERS THAT TOO

MARK
(into phone)
Empire ... oh sorry. Empire Records open til midnight this is Mark.
(to Joe)
The Boss.

JOE
(into phone)
Give me a sec would you.
(changes lines)
Yeah, Mitch. Mitch! Mitch will you stop yelling please.

CUT TO BACKROOM

AJ
What is wrong Joe? ... Joe, what is it? ... Nah, Lucas? No way, c'mon.

MARK
Here he comes.

JOE ENTERS BACKROOM AND GOES INTO A SMALL OFFICE. HERE HE OPENS THE SAFE AND LOOKS INSIDE *** "Hey Joe" The Dirt Clods ***

JOE
Damnit, Lucas!

AJ
What's the matter Joe?

CUT TO CAR. GINA IS DRIVING, COREY APPROACHES FROM HER HOUSE.

COREY
Surprise.

GINA
What? What is it?

COREY
Happy Rex Manning Day.

COREY HANDS GINA A CUPCAKE

GINA
When did you have time to make these?

COREY
Dad says there's 24 usable hours in every day. Thank you.

GINA
You absolutely amaze me. You are a nerd.

COREY
That's me.

GINA
So?

COREY
So.

GINA
So?

COREY
So...

GINA
SO?

COREY
So today, I will offer myself to Rex Manning.

GINA
Alright! ... Yes.

COREY
(kissing record)
Oh I love you.

GINA
No. Like this.

COREY
Get your tongue off of my record

BOTH LAUGH

COREY
(continuing)
You think Rex is the right guy for my first time?

GINA
Oooo ... I think he's perfect for you Corey.

CUT TO STORE. JOE IS RUMMAGING AROUND IN THE BACKROOM

AJ
Hey, Joe?

JOE
Yeah?

AJ
I need to ask you something.

JOE
Uh-huh.

AJ
Now I know you know a lot about love and women and all that sort of thing.

JOE
Oh yeah. My wife left me for another woman and my girlfriend forced me to leave at gunpoint .... Does this qualify me?

AJ
Oh yeah, definitely. Look Joe, I've decided that today's the day I'm gonna tell Corey how I feel about her.

JOE
Uh-huh.

AJ
No. I know what you're thinking but I really am. I mean I've been working here off and on for five years, man, so ... I've gotta tell her how I feel, you know? I've gotta tell her that I, er ... well you know, that I er ...

JOE
Love her.

AJ
Yeah. Now how do I do that?

JOE
You say "I love you" ... what do you want? Written instructions?
(looking around backroom)
If I find that kid, I swear, I swear I am gonna kill him.

AJ
OK ... I'm gonna tell her this morning.

JOE
Good.

AJ
By noon ... definitely.

JOE
Right.

AJ
No. by noon or one.

JOE
Uh-huh.

AJ
By 1:37 exactly, Joe.

JOE
Well good luck.

AJ
Well thank you.

CUT TO GINA'S CAR PULLING UP AT BACK OF STORE

COREY AND GINA
(singing)
Don't be sad girl ... Just be glad girl ... You're not a bad girl!

COREY
God, remember the first time he sung it on 'The Family Way'?

GINA
Yeah.

COREY
I got so excited I almost choked on a pretzel.

THE BACK DOOR OPENS JUST AS THEY ARE ABOUT TO OPEN IT

COREY AND GINA
Oh!

COREY
Happy Rex Manning Day.

AJ
You guys can't go in there right now. I got something to tell you. Both of you, listen. It's really crazy news.

GINA
What?

AJ
Alright ...

CUT TO JOE'S OFFICE

JOE
Come on Lucas, pick up the phone. Pick it up ... come on, buckethead!

CUT TO AJ, COREY AND GINA ENTERING BACKROOM

GINA
Hi, Joe.

COREY
Does Joe know?

AJ
No. so just act normal.

COREY
Hi, Joe.

AJ
What's up, Joe?

GINA
What's new, Joe?

COREY
How ya doin'?

JOE
Damn!

CUT TO STORE

GINA
OK. Let's see who goes first. I got a brown, anybody got brown?

MARK
Brown?

AJ
No.

GINA
Orange.

MARK SHOWS HIS M&M

AJ
Aw, shit.

GINA
Oh, no.

MARK
Nah-nah.

CUT TO SCENES OF GETTING STORE READY FOR OPENING *** "Seems" by Queen Sarah Saturday ***

CUT TO AJ TURNING OFF MARK'S MUSIC

MARK
Hey ... whatcha' doin', man?

AJ
I'm exercising my veto, man.

MARK
Yeah but it's only 9 o'clock. You sure you wanna do that?

AJ
Mark, listening to this crap is guaranteed to make you sterile.

MARK
Maybe I wanna be sterile.

CUT TO BACKROOM

JOE
Corey, what are you doing here?

COREY
Calculus. I hate it but my dad says I've gotta get an A.

JOE
No, I mean you know you're not on till this afternoon, right?

COREY
Joe, it's Rex Manning Day.

JOE
Rex Manning Day ...

CUT TO MUSIC VIDEO

MARK
(singing)
Lips are for kissing baby so say no more.

JOE
Could you please not sing, Mark?

MARK
You know what Joe? One of these days I'm gonna show you little people.

JOE
Yeah, well on that day I'm gonna jump out of my wheelchair and do a dance.

MARK
How about today, huh? Rex Manning Day
(notices Lucas entering)
Uh oh.

LUCAS
Mark.

MARK
Lucas.

JOE.
Lucas ...

LUCAS
Joe ...

JOE
Lucas, Where's the money?

LUCAS
Joe, the money is gone.

JOE
Yeah I know it's gone. Where's it gone to?

LUCAS
Atlantic City.

JOE
Atlantic City?

LUCAS
Yeah.

JOE
Is it coming back from Atlantic City?

LUCAS
Er, I don't think so Joe.

JOE
What's it doing in Atlantic City?

LUCAS
Re-circulating.

JOE
Re-circulating?

JOE KNOCKS CHANGE BUCKET OUT OF LUCAS'S HANDS.

LUCAS
Uh-oh. Are you pissed off, Joe?

JOE
Lucas.

LUCAS
Joe.

JOE
Lucas.

LUCAS
Joe.

JOE
Lucas, listen to me. I told Mitchell Beck that you forgot to deposit the money. I told Mitchell that the money was still here.

LUCAS
Joe, that's not true. It's in Atlantic City ... I swear.

JOE
Shut up. Shut up, sit down and don't you move.

LUCAS
It could be in other cities by now -

JOE
Oh shut up! Under no circumstances do I want you to leave that couch. Unless it's to get me $9000 and then you bring it here to me, OK?

LUCAS
Joe. I think it's going to be OK.

JOE
What makes you think that?

LUCAS
Who knows where thoughts come from. They just appear ... uh-huh.

JOE
What a moron.

CUT TO STORE

FLORIST
(to Corey)
Are you Corey Mason?

COREY
For me?

FLORIST
Uh-hmm.

COREY
Oh wow! Thank you.

FLORIST
Uh-hmm ... later.

COREY
Yeah, bye. Thank you.

GINA
(reading from card)
"To the number one in her class, Harvard 1999. Make me proud, love Daddy". That's sweet.

COREY
God, nothing's ever enough for him, huh?

GINA
Aw, no I'm sure he didn't mean it like that. No he didn't -,  I'm sure he didn't mean it like that.

CUSTOMER
Er, excuse me?

COREY
(to customer)
Hi. How are you today?

CUT TO MARK KISSING PICTURE OF MADONNA AND DEB ARRIVING.

COREY
Hi Debra.

DEB  GIVES HER THE FINGER

COREY
She hates me.

GINA
She hates me too. But I have enough sense to hate her back.

CUT TO BACKROOM

LUCAS
Morning Deb.

AJ
Hi Deb.

DEB ENTERS BATHROOM AND SLAMS DOOR.

JOE
Lucas are in trouble? Did you need the money? Because if you are in trouble you can talk to me, you know that right?

LUCAS
Joe, we're all in in some kind of trouble. Am I the only one who sees it? You know, Deb's in trouble and AJ's in trouble.

AJ
AJ's not in trouble.

LUCAS
And Corey is in trouble.

AJ
Corey's not in trouble - she's going to Harvard.

LUCAS
Mark's in trouble, Eddie's in trouble -

JOE
Hey, I'm the one who's in trouble here. 'Cause every minute that goes by and I don't call the cops, I look like a bigger banana-head.

LUCAS
Joe, I can categorically say that you are not a bigger banana-head.

JOE
You screwed me Lucas - you know that right? ... What do you want me to do? Call Mitchell, tell him I lied?

LUCAS
It seems like a viable option.

JOE
I swear to God if you are fooling with me I will kill you.

LUCAS
Hmm.

JOE
AJ, I need another closer.

AJ
Joe, I opened, man.

JOE
C'mon, look I wouldn't ask but I have got no choice.

LUCAS
I can close.

AJ
Yeah, I can close. It's cool. They just raised my rent so I could definitely use the money.

LUCAS
Well damn the man.

JOE
Oh God, I am in hell!

CUT TO BATHROOM - DEB CUTS OFF HER HAIR *** "Free" the Martinis ***

CUT BACK TO BACK ROOM

AJ
Lucas, do you think that it's possible for someone to be in love with someone else and not even know it?

LUCAS
In this life, there are nothing but possibilities.

AJ
Well that's good, 'cause I have to tell Corey I love her by 1:37.

LUCAS
That's an excellent time.

DEB EMERGES FROM BATHROOM

AJ
Wow ... You did have hair when you went in there right?

DEB
Yeah, it's still in the sink if you want to glue it ... Hey, Lucas is it true you committed the perfect crime?

LUCAS
Not entirely perfect.

AJ
You see that, man? ... Hey Debra wait a minute. What's with you today?

DEB
Bad hair day. (lifts arm)

AJ (pulls down her sleeve, reveals wrist bandage)
No I mean with this. What is this, huh? What happened?

DEB
You know I went to Rock and Roll Heaven and I wasn't on the guest list. Now please move, I've gotta go to work.

AJ
No. Now you tell me what is going on.

DEB
I decided I'd rather kill myself than meet Rex Manning. Now excuse me I'm going.

AJ
No listen to me. This isn't funny. I'm not joking. I'm not gonna let you go out of here until you tell me what's going on.

DEB
Mind your own business.

LUCAS
She's fine. She's amazing.

DEB
Thank you. (exits)

LUCAS
(whispering)
AJ she's in the store. She's gonna be OK.

AJ
What's with you? Yesterday you were normal and today you're like the Chinese Guy from the Karate Kid. What's with you today?

LUCAS
What's with today, today?

AJ
I dunno.

CUT TO CASH REGISTER. DEB APPROACHES.

COREY
Oh, wow ... Why'd you do that?

DEB
Just your typical nutty teenager in America. Oh! Before you guys hear all about it. (shows bandage)

COREY
That's supposed to be a joke right?

DEB
No, you're the joke.

COREY LEAVES

GINA
Well Sinead O'Rebellion. Shock me, shock me, shock me with that deviant behavior.

DEB
That is so clever. I swear to God you get smarter the shorter your skirt gets.

GINA
And you get smarter the shorter your hair gets so it's probably a good thing you went with that.

DEB
Yeah.

GINA
It's a wonderful look for you darling.

DEB
Thank you.

CUT TO MARK'S THRASH MUSIC  *** "I Shot the Devil"  Suicidal Tendencies ***

CUT BACK TO LUCAS ON THE COUCH

LUCAS
Joe? ... Joe? ... I have to go the bathroom.

CUT TO JOE IN OFFICE

JOE
(into office phone)
Yeah, I wanna report a robbery. No I will not hold.

CUT TO STORE

GINA
Veto. Excuse me, ow. Excuse me. Ow ... Veto!

MARK
Hey, hey, hey, hey. What's up with that Gina, huh?

GINA
You know it's too early. It makes the customers all crazy-like.

MARK
That's the whole point ... Eddie ...

EDDIE
Fat Cat. What's up dude? I heard your music playing when I got in, man. That's some pretty scary stuff.

MARK
Yeah, it was moshy.

EDDIE
I'm glad to say I made you a tape last night for educational purposes. Well here's the deal, man. You start off with a little classical music, a little Pokey Little Puppy. And then you got some shags on there and residents. A little Floyd and Zeppelin.

MARK
Floyd's very cool.

EDDIE
And another very cool thing is: I made you these. Now, they're my special recipe and you know what that means - lots of sugar. Now Mark, you gotta understand something here. This music is the glue of the World, Mark - it holds it all together, without this life would be meaningless.

MARK
Dude, have you heard about Lucas?

CUT TO BACKROOM

EDDIE
Hey Lucas, man. I heard you like went to Vegas and like married a mobster's wife, and now you've like got a hit on you and stuff. Is that true?

LUCAS
Not entirely true.

EDDIE
Oh, well, outlaw man. We salute you.

LUCAS
Thank you Eddie.

EDDIE
No problem.

GINA
(over PA)
This song goes out to our employee of the week: Lucas.

EDDIE
Oh, a little tribute, man.

MUSIC STARTS TO PLAY *** This song is "Money (That's What I Want)" by Flying Lizards ***

GINA
(over PA)
Lucas wants money ... Lots of money ... Joe's money.

JOE ENTERS BACKROOM

COREY
What the hell's this Joe?

AJ
Rules and standards for Music Town employee conduct?

JOE
(to Eddie)
Put these in the boxes.

AJ
Music Town? We're not a Music Town.

JOE
No we're not a Music Town ... yet.

MARK
Well isn't Music Town a chain, Joe?

AJ
(reading from rules)
"No gum chewing will be allowed inside the store".

EDDIE
They're turning us into a Music Town?

MARK
Why didn't you tell us?

JOE
Because I was trying to stop it.

COREY
What do you mean?

JOE
Look, I got together enough money to make Mitch an offer. He was gonna make me a partner. I could have bought him out eventually.

COREY
You were gonna buy Empire?

MARK
That's a good thing, right?

AJ
That'd be fantastic.

EVERYONE
Yeah.

JOE
You think it's gonna happen now? I have to pay for what Mr. Brilliant here did. It's over kids, OK.

LUCAS
Mitchell is "the man" Joe.

JOE
Yeah, and the man calls all the shots.

LUCAS
Damn the man!

JOE
Let me explain it to you. Mitchell's the man, I'm the idiot, you're the screw-up, and we are all losers. Welcome to Music Town.

CUT TO STORE. GINA AND DEB TALKING

DEB
(reading from rules)
"No visible tattoos".

GINA
(reading from rules)
"No revealing clothing".

DEB
We're both screwed .... At least you're used to it.

GINA
No Debra don't be bitter. Certainly with your ever-growing collection of flesh-mutilating silver appendages, and your brand new, neo-nazi boot-camp makeover, the boy's will come a running.

DEB
Let's not fight - let's just rip.

CUT TO MARK ON STAIRS

MARK
No, we mustn't dwell. No, not today. We can't .... Not on Rex Manning Day.

CUT TO GETTING STORE READY  *** "Video Killed the Radio Star" The Buggles ***
CUT TO FANS
CUT TO SHOPLIFTER
CUT TO LUCAS

LUCAS
Joe is it OK if I leave the couch? 'Cause I'm gonna leave the couch now, OK? My ass is falling asleep Joe, I gotta go. I'm leaving ... (picks up couch cushion and leaves)

CUT TO STORE

MARK
Well at least you didn't leave the couch.

LUCAS
Not the whole couch.

MARK
Oh! I've decided I'm gonna start a band.

LUCAS
Really?

MARK
Yeah.

LUCAS
The first thing you need is a name - and then you'll know what kind of band you've got.

MARK.
Yeah, I know, I know. I was kinda thinking about "Marc". What do you think of that?

LUCAS
Is that with a 'C' or with a 'K'?

MARK
Well, um, my name is with (checks name tag) ... a 'K', heh heh. So, I was thinking maybe my band could by with a 'C'. So that way it's kinda like that psychedelic, you know, trip thing.

LUCAS
Always play with their minds.

CUT TO SHOPLIFTER. LUCAS APPROACHES

LUCAS
Nice selection.

SHOPLIFTER
What?

LUCAS
Help you with anything?

SHOPLIFTER
No. I'm alright thanks.

LUCAS
You like music?

SHOPLIFTER
Yeah.

LUCAS
Me too.
(whispering)
The fat man walks alone.

SHOPLIFTER
What? Stop. What are you, some kind of weirdo?

LUCAS
That's a big coat you're wearing, lots of pocket-room.

SHOPLIFTER
Yeah ... see ya.

LUCAS
I'm sure I'll bump into you.

MARK
SHOPLIFTERRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!

CUT TO LUCAS CHASING SHOPLIFTER, WHO RUNS BACK THROUGH THE STORE.  CAMERA FOCUS ON GINA AND DEB AT REGISTERS.  *** "Ready, Steady, Go" the Meices ***

GINA
Isn't it customary to leave the scene after committing the crime?

DEB
Definitely an amateur.

CUT TO SHOPLIFTER RUNNING, LUCAS PERSUING.  CUT BACK TO GINA.

GINA
(over PA)
Attention Rex Manning fans, to your left you will notice a shoplifter being chased by night manager Lucas. This young man will be caught, deep-fried in a vat of hot oil and served to our first 100 customers. heh heh Just another tasty treat from the gang at Empire Records.

CUT TO LUCAS CHASING SHOPLIFTER. SHOPLIFTER WALKS INTO OPEN CAR DOOR.

SHOPLIFTER
Oh, shit.

CUT TO REX MANNING PULLING UP BEHIND STORE

REX
He cut it too short.

JANE
No it's fine, really. It's fabulous.

REX
Oh, God.

JANE
What?

REX
Look at this place.

JANE
Come on Rex. There is no gig too small, alright. Middle America buys your records, now come on, we got a lot of fans waiting in there.

CUT TO BACKROOM

JOE
(on phone)
Yeah this is Joe Reeves from the Empire Records store. We have a shoplifter in custody ... uh-huh. How old are you?

SHOPLIFTER
Old enough to kick your butt through your skull and splatter you brains on the wall.

JOE
Yeah, he's a juvenile.

LUCAS
(hitting shoplifter)
No.

JOE
What's your name?

SHOPLIFTER
Warren Beatty.

JOE
OK, Warren stand up. I want you to hold these against your chest, stand against the wall and they're gonna take a photograph of you.

WARREN
Why don't you shove 'em up your ass?

LUCAS
Because it would hurt a lot Warren.

JOE
Take him over there.

GINA ENTERS WEARING ONLY A MUSIC TOWN APRON

GINA
And they said no revealing clothing, didn't they? I think Music Town is actually torn on the revealing clothing issue. I think so.

COREY
(turning on music and dancing) *** "Thorn in My Side" Quicksand ***
Revealing clothing ...

JOE
Gina .... Gina .... Gina .... Gina! ... Gina will you please get dressed.

GINA
No.. (hums)

JOE
Corey turn that down, AJ up on the roof, fix the sign. Lucas - take the photograph.

GINA
Yes. Music Town. I can work for Music Town.

JANE
Hello?

GINA
Hi. Welcome to Music Town. May I service you?

JOE
Gina get dressed. Corey - work.

JANE
You must be Joe Reeves.

JOE
Yeah. I'm Joe, you must be Jane, right?

JANE
Hi.

WARREN
Me Joe, you Jane.

AJ
Shut up, Warren.

JANE
This is Rex Manning.

JOE
It's a pleasure to meet you. We all love the new album.

REX
Oh, good for you.

WARREN
What's he doing here?

JOE
Just let me introduce you to everybody. This is Gina (Gina re-emerges, dressed), this is Corey, Lucas, AJ, and er, Warren.

AJ SQUEEZES WARREN'S NECK

WARREN
Hi.

REX
I'm Rex. Great to be here.

COREY
I have all your albums.

REX
That's terrific Corey. Thank you.

LUCAS
Hey, Rex, what happened to your hair?

REX
Well, the er, stylist - if you can call him that - got a little carried away. No biggy.

LUCAS
It looks good.

JANE
See, he likes it.

COREY
I, I like it.

REX
Great, let's go to work.

CUT TO PHOTOGRAPHING WARREN

AJ
Higher.

VARIOUS POSES, SOME WITH REX MANNING. *** "Little Bastard" by the Ass Ponys ***

AJ
That was fabulous Warren, thank you.

CUT TO REX ENTERING FRONT OF STORE AND FANS CHEERING

JANE
Just smile alright.

REX
I don't like the chair

JANE
What do you mean, you don't like the chair?

REX
I don't like the chair.

JANE
What's wrong with the chair? Just sit in the chair.

REX
I don't want to sit.

JANE
Are you just gonna stand there?

JOE
(replacing chair)
Mr. Manning, this is a very nice chair.

REX
Thank you Joseph.

JANE
(to Joe)
Thank you.

REX CLICKS HIS FINGERS FOR A PEN. JANE THROWS ONE ON THE TABLE

FAN
Hi.

REX
Hi. What's your name?

FAN
Kathy. K-A-T-H-Y.

REX
OK.

KATHY
You know, I've seen every episode of 'The Family Way'.

REX
Oh yeah?

KATHY
And you were my favorite singer in high school.

REX
Who's your favourite singer now?

KATHY
You - it's still you.

REX
Bye.

CUT TO BACKROOM. AJ DRAWING, WARREN PLAYING WITH MAGNET. MARK ENTERS

MARK
There's so many babes out there. I gotta get Rex some water because Rex is very, very thirsty.

JANE
Make sure it's bottled water.

LUCAS
Mark.

MARK
Yeah?

LUCAS
Who's your favorite singer?

MARK
Axl.

LUCAS
Well if Axl Rose was driving down the highway and saw Rex Manning stranded on the side of the road, you think Axl Rose would stop and help him?

MARK
(ding of timer) Does Axl have a jack?

WARREN
No way, man. Axl would spin the wheel, take aim, pound on the gas, and take that sucker out! (screeching)

LUCAS
Warren. Warren! Where do you get this hostility from?

CUT TO WARREN TRYING TO PRY QUARTERS OFF THE CARPET

WARREN
Who stuck these quarters down?

AJ
I did.

WARREN
What the hell for, man?

AJ
I don't feel that I need to explain my art to you, Warren.

LUCAS
Warren, look what you took.
(sifts through stolen CDs)
Rap, metal, rap, metal, Whitney Houston.

WARREN
It's for my girlfriend, OK.

LUCAS
Sure it is. You know, someone like you needs to diminish their criminal impulses, not magnify them. Maybe some Jazz or some Classical.

WARREN
Maybe you bite me.

JANE
Do any of you, er, like Rex Manning's new record?

WARREN
Ha ha ha ha.

JANE
What?

WARREN
Dance-party-USA-teeny-bopper type of shit right?

JANE
I don't know, actually it tested well among teenage males.

LUCAS
Jane, did you compare the percentage of teenage male Rex Manning fans to the incidents of homosexuality among teenage males?

WARREN LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

JANE
No.

CUT TO STORE

REX
Who should I make it out to?

AUTOGRAPH SEEKER
Denise.

REX
Denise. Denise.  I've always loved that name.

AUTOGRAPH SEEKER
Thank you, but it's not mine, it's my mom's. She loves you, I've never even heard of you.

REX
OK. Tell me, does you mother still have her own teeth? Forget it.

AUTOGRAPH SEEKER
Cool hair.

REX
Oh.

FAN
(singing)
Say no more mon amour. Say no more mon amour. Say no more, MON AMOUR. SAY ... NO ... MORE ....

MARK CLAPS

CUT TO BACKROOM. BERKO ENTERS

LUCAS
Berko.

BERKO
Lucas, I heard a story about you.

LUCAS
Really. Which one?

BERKO
The one where you stole $9000, went to Atlantic City, and there's a contract out on you. Hey, has anyone seen Debra today?

AJ
Yeah, we saw her. She shaved her head. And she has a bandage on her wrist.

BERKO
Really?

AJ
Really.

BERKO
(to Jane)
Who're you?

JANE
I'm Jane.

BERKO
Oh.

JANE
I, er, work for Rex Manning.

BERKO
Oh ...

BERKO, AJ, LUCAS AND WARREN START LAUGHING

JANE
You think that's funny, huh?

THEY CONTINUE LAUGHING

JANE
(continuing)
If  you'll excuse me.

JOE
You're quitting? You can't quit.

JANE
Oh, it's not them, it's Rex. You know, I don't even like his music.

JOE
Come on Jane, you gotta stay.

JANE
I need a change of scenery.

JOE
Honey, come on, you can't do it to the -
(his office door shuts  in his face)
I can't believe it - she quit.

CUT TO JOE'S OFFICE. HE PUTS MONEY IN THE JUKEBOX, SITS DOWN AT HIS DRUM KIT, AND PLAYS. *** "If You Want Blood (You Got It)" by AC/DC***

CUT TO STAFF SINGING ALONG

CUT TO SCENES

COREY AND GINA
(singing)
If you want blood, you got it.

MITCH ENTERS

MITCH
Excuse me ladies, less shimmying, more selling, thank you.

GINA
(over PA)
Guess who's here.

MITCH
(to Rex)
How are you? Mitchell Beck - I own this place.

REX
Oh, good to meet you. You have a nice store.

MITCH
Oh, nice of you to say. I'll tell you though, you should of seen it originally: Beck's Bath and Bidet, bathroom emporium. My grandfather started it. It was my beatnik father who turned it into a record store. I tell you, if I was selling toilets today, I'd be a rich man.

JOE ENTERS

MITCH
(continuing)
Joe. What's the matter with you? You're sweating like a pig.

JOE
Well it's nice to see you too, Mitch.

MITCH
Joe, come on. Is this the way we treat Mr. Manning? Where's the fresh fruit, where's the champagne?

REX
No, no, that's not necessary, thank you.

MITCH
No, no, please.
(to Joe)
He's a big star.

JOE
Big, huge star. Big, big.

MITCH
So let's get him some.

JOE
Sure.

MITCH
OK.

JOE AND MITCH HEAD TOWARDS BACKROOM
MITCH
(continuing)
Joe, I'm going by the bank so why don't you give me last night's deposit. I wanna make sure it gets there this time.

JOE
It's OK, I'll take care of it.

MITCH
No, no, you're a busy man, let me.

JOE
I said I'll handle it.

JOE GOES INTO COUNTING ROOM, MITCHELL STARTS TO FOLLOW

LUCAS
Mitch! Mitch. Mitch. Have you met Warren?

MITCH
Who're you?

LUCAS
Lucas. I work here.

SHOT OF JOE FILLING BANK BAG WITH PAPER WHILE LUCAS TALKS TO MITCH

LUCAS
(continuing)
Have, er, you met Warren? Cause I wanted to talk to you about Warren. You see, young Warren came into the store today and put on a little demonstration for all the store employees. Very motivational. It was inspiring actually. And gosh, he just made quite an impression on everyone.

MITCH
I'm intrigued. I'm spellbound.

JOE HANDS HIM THE MONEY BAG

MITCH
(continuing)
Now that wasn't so hard was it? Thank you.

MITCH EXITS.  WARREN FLIPS MITCH THE BIRD  JOE AND LUCAS SHARE A 'LOOK'.

CUT TO STORE

BERKO
(to Deb)
I like you hair ... Are you OK?

DEB
Why do you care? You didn't care last night.

BERKO
Yes I did.

DEB
Look this isn't about you, OK. I got home last night and I thought about everything that had happened. And then I thought about everything that had happened the night before that and the week before that, and the year before that. And the only thing that was different was there was something else that was making me feel shitty.

BERKO
I'm trying to say I'm sorry.

DEB
I just said this wasn't about you. Look, you didn't do anything wrong - I'm screwed up, OK?

BERKO
We're all screwed up.

DEB
Don't touch me right now. I just want you to get up and I want you to walk away.

BERKO EXITS. DEB PUTS HER HEADPHONES ON

CUT TO ROOF

AJ
Corey, I've gotta tell you something. It's about how I feel about you. I ... I, er, I really, really, really ... oh, god. You know that feeling you get when you get out a hot bath and you just feel really refreshed and nice? Well ... you make me feel like - you make me feel like a bath? Ugh. ... You're like vanilla ice cream - french vanilla ice cream - yeah. (shakingly looks at watch)

CUT TO SCENES.  *** "Romeo and Juliet" Dire Straits ***

CUT TO BACKROOM

WARREN
This is bullshit, man.

LUCAS
The long arm of the law has embraced our dear friend Warren.

JOE
(to policewoman)
I'm Joe Reeves the manager. Is everything OK?

WARREN
This is such bullshit, man.

POLICEWOMAN
We've got everything under control.

WARREN
Hey, Joe, Joe, tell them what he did.

JOE
Do you need a statement from me?

POLICEWOMAN
No, we already got one from Mr. Lucas.

WARREN
Oh, oh, Mr. Lucas over there took $9000 and I just took a couple of CDs.

POLICEWOMAN
That is enough.

WARREN
Come on. Lucas, I thought you were my friend.

LUCAS
Take care of yourself Warren. Don't let the man get you down.

JOE
I don't wanna see you back in the store Warren.

WARREN
I'm the victim here.

AJ
Bye, Warren.

WARREN
(as he is dragged away)
I'm gonna get you. I'm not playing this time. I'll be back and you'll be sorry! You're gonna pay for this ...

LUCAS
Woo!

AJ
(imitating Warren)
You'll be sorry.

JOE
I'm already sorry.

CUT TO JOE CHECKING MUSIC BOOTHS

JOE
Hi.

DEB
Hey. I'm just doing my quarterly income tax returns. I'm almost done.

JOE
Look , Deb, erm ... if you need to talk about anything ...

DEB
You gonna fix me Joe? OK, fix me, I'll listen.

JOE
Well I didn't mean that - I mean, should I call your mother or something? Or?

DEB
Great. You know, if you find her could you give me her number cause I'd really like to talk to her myself. ... I know you didn't mean anything.

JOE
You're doing a good job, Deb.

JOE LEAVES

DEB
I feel a lot better.

CUT TO JOE'S OFFICE

COREY
Joe? You're the best boss in the world. Can I bring Rex his lunch?

JOE
Berko's taking him his lunch.

COREY
Er, Joe, you know that Berko's going to insult him right to his face - I don't think that's such a good idea.

JOE
Look, I don't care if Berko sticks an M-80 up his butt and lights it. In fact I hope he sticks one up mine - it might be an improvement.

COREY
Joe, I have to bring Rex his lunch.

JOE
Berko is.

COREY
Joe, I need to bring Rex his lunch.

JOE
Berko is.

COREY
I'M BRINGING REX HIS LUNCH!!!

JOE
Alright.

COREY
Thanks Joe. Thanks a lot.

CUT TO COREY PREPARING LUNCH.  *** "Snakeface" by Throwing Muses ***

REX AND MARK ENTER

MARK
Wow, all the food groups, Corey.

COREY
Bye, Mark.

MARK
Hey, hey, whoa.

COREY SLAMS DOOR

REX
Well this looks very elegant. Yeah, boy, talking to all those women can make you work up an appetite.

COREY
I bet it does.

REX
I think I've got everything. I'm all set, thank you.

COREY
So am I.

REX
You know I can't help notice you sitting there staring at me.

COREY
I was just thinking how I used to imagine marrying you when you were on 'The Family Way'.

REX
Marrying me? You must of been a baby back then.

COREY
(taking off her top)
I'm not a baby now.

REX
You're a sweet girl.

COREY
(taking off her skirt)
I'm not as sweet as you think.

REX
How old are you?

COREY
Old enough.

REX
You sure you wanna do this?

COREY
Yeah, definitely.

REX
(unzipping his pants)
Rock and roll.

COREY RUNS OUT OF ROOM PULLING ON HER CLOTHES  *** "How" by Cranberries ***

CUT TO ROOF. COREY EMERGES PULLING ON HER TOP. SHE SITS DOWN AND NOTICES AJ APPROACHING

COREY
(muttering to herself)
Go away.

AJ
Corey.

COREY
What are you doing here?

AJ
Fixing the sign. What are you doing?

COREY
Taking a break.

AJ
Wow, it's really weird that you just came up here. Look I really have to tell you something.

COREY
Not now, please.

AJ
No, it has to be now.

COREY
Please AJ, not now.

AJ
No, no, it has to be now, listen. You remember that really horrible day when Mark set off the store alarm, and, and, and Gina got dumped by that Dennis guy and cried all day, and I drew the picture of him and Lucas made the voodoo doll and you wore that skirt that I hate? Do you remember that day?

COREY
What skirt?

AJ
The, the one with the flowers.

COREY
The blue skirt?

AJ
Yeah, the blue one.

COREY
You -

AJ
Yeah, I hate that skirt. But it's good that I hate that skirt, Corey, cause that, listen, that, listen to me, that skirt made me realise that, I mean, if I can, I can love her in that skirt then this must really be it. Corey, I love you.

COREY
What?

AJ
Corey, I'm in love with you.

COREY
Oh wow. Please not now, please AJ. Please don't do this right now. I'm sorry but I can't handle this right now.

AJ
What are you telling me, that you could handle it some other time? Is that it?

COREY
Look, I just threw myself at Rex Manning, OK. I made a total fool out of myself, I mean, and I really don't -

AJ
You what?

COREY
Yes, and, and, I'm not ready for this OK? And I, I'm sorry, I'm really sorry ... I'm sorry, I just wanna be alone, OK?

AJ
Yeah, OK. Just forget I said anything alright. Just forget - I didn't say anything. Nothing happened.

CUT TO AJ PAINTING

CUT TO CAF�. GINA AND COREY HAVING LUNCH.

GINA
Forget about Rex. We'll get you another guy.

COREY
I don't want another guy. I'm not like you, I don't need another guy. Why do you always try and make me like you?

GINA
What'd you mean 'like me'?

COREY
I'm not like you with guys. I don't need to do what you do all the time.

GINA
Oh, OK. I see. Not like me the turbo-slut, is that what you mean? What are you saying? That I gotta go do every guy that I see?

COREY
Well you certainly seem to enjoy it.

GINA
Huh. Well. What'd you do, huh Corey? Did you go over there and did you act all perfect and better than everybody? You think guys like you for that?

COREY
They may not like it, but at least they don't do it with me and go off and laugh.

GINA
Miss Self-righteous.

GINA STORMS OFF. EDDIE APPROACHES

EDDIE
(putting pizza on table)
Here you are. hey, is Rex Manning in yet? Cos if he is you gotta show him my eight track, it's so great, it's 'The Family Way'. It's in the, like, vinyl section, right underneath the -

COREY
Eddie, please.

COREY LEAVES

EDDIE
Hey, what'd I do? Hey.
(picks up bra)
Hey, you forgot your thingy.

CUT TO STORE

GINA
I dunno, it's just something I've always been able to do. I can tell you what colour and what kind.

REX
Huh. Alright, what am I wearing now?

GINA
Jockeys. Navy blue. Am I right?

REX
I dunno.

GINA
Well why don't you check it out, and you let me know.

CUT TO COUNT-OUT ROOM. GINA ENTERS FOLLOWED BY REX *** "A Girl Like You" Edwyn Collins ***

REX
Now the $64,000 question.

GINA UNDOES HIS PANTS.  SHE IS CORRECT.

CUT TO AJ PAINTING OUTSIDE, COREY ENTERS.

COREY
Hi.
(looks at painting)
That's really nice.

AJ
Don't

COREY
Don't what?

AJ
Pretend like nothing happened. Just don't.

COREY
AJ, when you told me that before I just freaked because I don't think of you like that. I mean you're my best friend ... I think we have something better than that.

AJ
Better? That's bullshit. You know that's bullshit.

AJ LEAVES. COREY TAKES A PILL FROM A CONTAINER

CUT TO DEB MAKING BUTTONS

CUT TO STORE

DEB
(handing button to Corey)
One for Miss Teen America. It's OK, I didn't spit on it.

COREY
'Dis-honesty'? What's that supposed to mean?

DEB
And one for the man with the band.

MARK
Oh ... huh, huh. 'Marc sucks'. Yeah.

DEB
Hey, AJ. I made you a button. 'Stupid'.

AJ
Debra you're just in time.

DEB
What?

AJ
Please. Surprise.

TURNS ON REX'S SONG

DEB
Veto, veto, veto. I'm not listening to it.

AJ
No, we're dancing to it.

DEB
I'm not gonna dance to Rex Manning. I'm not dancing.

AJ LIES ON COUNTER

AJ
Why not? I am Rex Manning, I'm so sexy.

DEB
No you're stupid. Stupid. Stupid!

AJ
No, I'm sexy.

AJ PUTS DEB'S HAND ON HIS CROTCH

DEB
Get off.

PUSHES AJ OFF COUNTER.

SCENES OF STAFF AND CUSTOMERS DANCING AND SINGING.

SHOTS OF GINA AND REX IN COUNT-OUT ROOM

JOE COMES DOWN THE STAIRS

JOE
You all having fun? I hope so. Don't let me stop you, keep dancin'. But you better do it now because by next week this is gonna be a Music Town and I don't think they allow dancing in Music Town.

LUCAS
What are we supposed to do instead, Joe?

JOE
What am I gonna do with this guy, huh? What should I do? Turn him into the police, send him to jail? Who do you think that he's gonna come to when he wants bail, who? Me, right? Me. What should I do? Put in my own nine grand? And then I'm screwed.

LUCAS
Don't worry Joe, you're a superb manager.

JOE
Really?

LUCAS
Superb.

JOE
Keep it up, Lucas.

LUCAS
Superb.

JOE
Say it again.

LUCAS
Superb.

JOE
You little shit

LUCAS
Joe, that's my shoulder.

CUT TO BACK ROOM. JOE DRAGS LUCAS IN

JOE
(throwing Lucas into his office)
Get in there.

LUCAS
Joe? Joe. Joe, Joe, no don't. Aw ... Joe don't do it, don't do it, Joe. Ohhh ....

LUCAS GETS THROWN BACK OUT OF OFFICE

JOE
(handing Lucas paper towel)
You deserved that, you know it, right?

LUCAS
I know it.

JOE
Where's Rex?

GINA
I got a better question for you Joe: Where's Gina?

THEY HEAR LAUGHTER FROM THE COUNT-OUT ROOM

AJ
I'll look upstairs.

DEB
I'll check the bathroom.

BERKO
I'll check the storage room.

LUCAS
I'll check the sofa.

EDDIE ENTERS

EDDIE
Hey, hey, how's it going, man? Joe, I'm sorry I'm late. I brought some pizza just in case anyone got hungry. So what's up, man? Why you guys, er, looking so glum? Where's sexy rock star?

DEB
It's kinda funny that you put it that way.

EDDIE
What?

COREY ENTERS

COREY
Joe, I'm not feeling so good, can I count out now?

WALKS OVER TO COUNT-OUT ROOM

COREY
Why's the door locked? Where's Gina? Where, where's Rex?

EVERYBODY AVOIDS EYE CONTACT WITH HER. SHE THROWS HER CASH DRAWER ON THE FLOOR. GINA AND REX COME OUT OF ROOM

REX
What? No applause?

AJ JUMPS ON REX

REX
Get off.

JOE
AJ!

COREY
AJ, stop. He's not worth it.

JOE
AJ.

THEY MANAGE TO PULL AJ OFF REX

REX
(punching AJ while Joe restrains him)
Wise up, junior.

JOE
(throwing Rex his things)
Take your purse, and get the hell out of my store.

REX
Where's Jane?

JOE
She quit, pal.

REX
What?

LUCAS
And I was lying about your hair, it looks stupid.

DEB
And we all hate your new album.

BERKO
Not to mention the ones before that.

EDDIE
You're just a washed-up impostor, man.

REX
(as he leaves)
why don't you all just fade away. [worst comeback in the history of comebacks]

EDDIE
(to Gina)
How could you? With Rex Manning?

COREY
(as she leaves the room)
I hate you.

JOE
Gina, you better go home.

GINA
Am I fired?

JOE
Have I fired anyone today - no. why would I start with you?

COREY COMES BACK

COREY
So is this how your life's gonna be now, huh? You just gonna screw every has-been until your tits fall down and they don't want you anymore?

GINA
Well at least I don't hide what I am, right Corey? At least I'm not some closet speed freak, right? What, you think I don't see what you do? 
(screaming)
DO YOU THINK I DON'T SEE WHAT YOU DO?

COREY
Shut up!

GINA
I know what you do!
(picks up pill container from Corey's pigeon hole)
what's this? Oh what's this? What are these, huh, what are these? Aspirin? Vitamins? Breath mints? Diet pills?

COREY
Sshh.

GINA
Oh, diet pills, oh what a surprise!

COREY
Stop it!

GINA
You know what, I could study all night if I was chowing down speed too you know that, I could. 
(starts throwing pills at Corey)
Here's one for your perfect little face, and your perfect body.

COREY
SHUT UP!

GINA
(continuing to throw pills)
And your perfect family, and your perfect school.

COREY
STOP IT!

JOE
Gina, stop it. C'mon.

GINA
And your perfect, perfect future!
(Joe grabs Gina)
I'm stopping.

JOE
C'mon.

GINA
I'm stopping! ... it's always about her.

GINA LEAVES

JOE
(to Corey)
It's gonna be fine. Really.

COREY
(screaming)
NO IT'S NOT GONNA BE FINE! NOTHING'S EVER FINE! I'LL SHOW YOU FINE. I'LL SHOW YOU PERFECT!

COREY RUNS INTO STORE< GRABS A PAIR OF SCISSORS OFF THE COUNTER AND ATTACKS A REX MANNING STAND-UP

COREY
(stabbing stand-up)
I HATE YOU!!!

MARK, EDDIE, JOE AND BERKO RESTRAIN HER

CUT TO WASH ROOM. DEB IS CALMING COREY DOWN BY LOWERING HER FACE INTO WATER

DEB
Sshh.
(lifts Corey's head out of water)
Up ... better?

COREY
Yeah.

DEB
OK, come on, dry it off.
(looks at Corey for a while)
So I guess nobody really has it all together.

COREY
No.

DEB
I feel like I should welcome you to the neighbourhood or something.

DEB SITS DOWN ON TOILET

DEB
Anyway, did you really wanna do Rex Manning in the count-out room? Is that how you always imagined your first time would be? Your back up against the daily totals and your feet pounding against the safe.
(putting on a voice)
Oh Rexy stop that. You're so sexy.

COREY SMILES AT THE THOUGHT

COREY
Why are you being so nice to me?

DEB
Let's save our 'hallmark' moment.

CUT TO MARK WATCHING A MUSIC VIDEO EATING EDDIE'S BROWNIES.

MARK
Gwar!

THE SINGERS ON SCREEN START TALKING TO MARK

LEAD SINGER
Hey. Hey, Mark. You love Gwar, why don't you join the band?

CUT TO MARK IN THE MUSIC VIDEO ON THE TV SET

LEAD SINGER
Aw, man. Mark , man, you play a mean guitar, man. It's really a shame that you must die.

MARK STARTS TO BE EATEN BY A BIG PLANT *** "Rock and Roll/EGA" by Daniel Johns(t)on ***

MARK
Wait. Hey, come on. Awwwww ...

CUT TO MARK WATCHING HIMSELF ON TV. HE LAUGHS AS HE IS EATEN

MARK
I love you, Eddie.

CUT TO JOE'S OFFICE

JANE
Hey. Do you need a new night manager? What are you doing later?

JOE
I don't know. I'm either going to jail or hell, I can't decide which.

JANE
Well wherever you're going would you like to have dinner with me first?

JOE
You bet.

CUT TO BACK ROOM STAIRS. AJ IS SITTING ALONE

EDDIE
Hey, AJ. Can I ask you something? Do you know where Harvard is?

AJ
It's near Boston.

EDDIE
No, I mean, do you really know where Harvard is? It's another planet, man. Another universe. Totally unlike the one we know. Filled with big blond guys who eat ivy and row boats. What I'm trying to say is that you and Corey are just not made for each other. She's, she's different than you. She's -

AJ WALKS AWAY

CUT TO COREY DRAWING A PICTURE ON A PIECE OF CARD

LUCAS
Death is in the cards. Rest In Peace Deb. A funeral. Is Debra not with us anymore?

COREY
If Deb wants to die, let's show her what a real funeral would be like.

CUT TO SETTING UP FUNERAL SHOTS

COREY
We're gathered here today to pay our last respects to Debra. She left us and never said why, but I'm really gonna miss her. And I wish that I could have known her a little bit better.

DEB
Dogshit.

EDDIE
Hey, dead people don't talk.

COREY
Berko, would you like to say something?

BERKO
Deb I just ... I just want you to stay, that's all.

COREY
AJ, do you have something to say?

AJ
Well is it better to know or not to know? You see, I wanna go to art school but I'm afraid.

DEB
Jesus, I hate this funeral.

CUT TO STORE. MARK IS SEREVING CUSTOMERS - HIS HANDS FULL. THE PHONE RINGS

MARK
(into phone)
Empire Records open til midnight this is Mark ... Midnight!

THE AMOUNT OF CUSTOMERS IS TOO MUCH FOR MARK

MARK
(over PA)
Help me. Helkp me, help me, help me. Oh God, um ...

CUT TO BACK ROOM

AJ
I'll take care of it Boss.

JOE
OK.

COREY
I really miss Gina.

DEB
That's really special but, ah, aren't we supposed to be talking about me?

COREY
I know, I just can't stop thinking about her. She's not afraid of life and she's not afraid to be herself. And I wish that I could be like that, I wish that I could be brave like Gina.

GINA APPEARS OUT OF THE SHADOWS AT THE BACK OF THE ROOOM

GINA
You are brave. You're getting out of here. You're always talking about how I do what I wanna do. But I don't. I don't. Cause I wanna sing in a band but, erm, I don't have the guts to even audition. And I know that if I don't do something I'm gonna end up like my mother. Her life ended after high school.

COREY
You're never gonna be like your mother if you don't want to be like your mother. You're gonna be fine.

DEB
That is so sweet I think I'm gonna barf. Excuse me.

DEB ATTEMPTS TO LEAVE. THE OTHERS PULL HER BACK DOWN

COREY
Get down here ... hey, Mark.

LUCAS
I used to pee in my bed. I did, I wet my bed until I was ten. My mother turned me over to the county when I was ten too, er, not, not for being a bed-wetter but for being a bad seed. Anyways, three years went by and then Joe came and he, er, took me out and I became the well-adjusted person that I am today.

DEB UNWRAPS BANDAGE

DEB
Look. I tried to kill myself with a Lady Bic; a pink plastic razor with daisies on it and a moisturising strip. And it took me forever just to get through my skin. I don't know, I was just really tired of being invisible.

COREY
We love you Debra.

CUT TO STORE. WARREN ENTERS AND PULLS OUT A GUN. AJ NOTICES HIM

AJ
Warren, get out of the store.

WARREN
You can't tell me what to do, AJ.

WARREN DISPLAYS THE GUN

AJ
What are you doing with a gun?

WARREN
What do you think I'm doing with a gun?

CUT TO BACK ROOM WHERE A LOUD BANG IS HEARD

EDDIE
What the hell was that?

CUT BACK TO STORE

WARREN
Christ. Holy shit, man.

AJ
Warren, why don't you let these people go. What do you say, huh?

WARREN
Good try, AJ. Good try. You trying to fool me, man. I'm not that dumb. They'll call the cops on me.

AJ
Nobody's gonna call the cops.

SHOT OF JOE AND THE STAFF LOOKING OUT INTO THE STORE FROM THE BACK ROOM

JOE
It's Warren, he's shooting up the place.

COREY
Oh my God, AJ.

JOE
AJ's fine. Everybody stand back, OK. Jane, call 911.

CUT BACK TO STORE WHERE WARREN HAS BEEN JUMPING AROUND WITH THE GUN

WARREN
... I'm crazy and I got a gun.
(he notices Joe approaching)
Joe. Hey, Joe. Did you see that. Man? Did you see that? Wasn't that brilliant? Yeah! Didn't you just love that? You told me not to come back, well here I am.

JOE
Give me the gun, Warren

WARREN
I'll give you the gun.

WARREN FIRES AGAIN PAST JOE'S HEAD. DEB WALKS PAST JOE TOWARDS WARREN

JOE
Deb, what are you doing?

DEB
I wanted to have a little chat with Warren.

WARREN
Yeah? Have a little chat with my gun.

DEB
(to gun barrel)
What do you want Warren?

WARREN
Stop calling me Warren. My name isn't FUCKING WARREN!

CUT TO BACK ROOM

EDDIE
His name isn't Warren.

COREY
His name isn't Warren.

BERKO
His name isn't Warren?

MARK
I thought his name was Warren.

CUT BACK TO STORE

DEB
Well you can't kill me Warren cause I'm already dead. And I talked to God and she sez "Yo, whatsup?" and, erm, she wants you to lose the gun.

WARREN
You're psycho. You are psycho. What the hell is wrong with you people? You all belong in the loony bin. Everyone of ya. Forget you guys, I don't need you. You think you're so happy and you're so goddamn great cause you work in a freaking record store. You think you're so ... superior. Hey, Joe, Lucas steals nine grand from you and you don't do dick to him? So you gonna give me a job now?

BERKO
So that's it Warren? You wanna work in a record store?

WARREN
No.

LUCAS
I think you're lying, Warren.

WARREN
He's not gonna give me a job, man.

LUCAS
How do you know?

WARREN
Why should he? Why should anyone give me a job?

LUCAS
He gave me a job.

JOE TAKES THE GUN OFF WARREN. POLICE SIRENS ARE APPROACHING

WARREN
(to Joe)
So do I get the job?

CUT TO BACK ROOM. SHOT OF AJ MAKING WARREN A STORE ID TAG

POLICE OFFICER
Well considering the fact that he's a minor and he put blanks in the gun, there's really not a whole lot they can do to him.

JOE
Well thanks a lot officers.

BERKO
Take care Warren.

JOE
Stay out of trouble, OK?

AJ
Wait, wait a minute ... Warren I made this for you.

WARREN
Cool, man.

AJ STARTS TO PUT IT ON WARREN

AJ
Warren I work -

WARREN
Wait, wait, wait, wait. Can you keep it her for me so when I get  back ...

AJ
Sure.

WARREN
Thanks, man.

LUCAS
Hey, Warren. Take care of yourself ; don't let the man get you down.

WARREN
Yeah, you too, Lucas. Bye Gina.

BERKO
Yeah, don't drop the soap.

WARREN GETS TAKEN AWAY

JOE
I gotta call Mitchell.

A FAN OF MONEY GETS HANDED TO LUCAS

DEB
It's 1900 bucks. I sold my Vespa across the street.

LUCAS
No.

JANE
Here's $600 left over from the Rex Manning expense account.

BERKO
Cool.

MARK
There's about 30 bucks from Debra's buttons.

COREY
I have some money in my bag.

BERKO
Here's a couple of bucks. And some Bazooka Joe for karma.

AJ
Here's $32 from AJ's expense account.

JOE
(handing Lucas his watch)
Maybe you can hock this, I don't know.

DEB
That's ... 3050.

GINA
Yeah.

COREY
And 6 more.

LUCAS
It's not about money, OK? I, I hate money. Er, look, I thought I knew what I was doing but I didn't, OK. I give up ... call Mitchell.

JOE
I think we can work something out here.

LUCAS
No. now is the time, just call him.

MARK
Whoa. Wait a second. Give me a couple of seconds. Oh, yeah.

CUT TO REPORTER OUTSIDE STORE

REPORTER
And so the perpetrator will now be taken to Juvenile Hall and likely charged with assault with a deadly weapon and possibly even kidnapping.

MARK APPROACHES

MARK
Er, I saw the whole thing go down. You see, I work here.

CUT TO BACK ROOM. EDDIE COMES IN

EDDIE
Hey guys, check it out, check it out. Mark's on TV.

HE TURNS ON THE TV SET

EDDIE
(continuing)
He's on the news. He's right outside the store.

REPORTER
(on TV)
Well joining us is an eyewitness to the scene. An employee of the store who saw it all. Tell us what happened.

MARK
Well you see there was this guy here and he kind of wigged out and everything, but that's besides the point. Because we're having a get together here tonight. There's gonna be free admission, live music, pits, chicks, the full nine yards, man. Heavy shit. Here at midnight.

REPORTER
We're live on the air right now, sir. That's the story kids -

MARK
Anybody can come. Here at midnight. Party on, man. Damn the man! Save the Empire!

CUT TO SCENES GETTING READY.  *** "Plowed" by Sponge ***

JANE
Um, no, no. Gotta make some money.

PEOPLE START ARRIVING

GINA, BERKO AND BAND ARE SETTING UP INSTRUMENTS

GINA
(taking drum off Berko)
I got it.

EDDIE IS SELLING RECORDS

EDDIE
(to kid)
You know, this is something you gotta invest in when you're young cause a record is like life. It goes around, and around.

AJ
(indicating an Alice In Chains poster)
You want this?

MAN
Yeah, how much is it?

AJ
$80

MARK ARRIVES WITH KEGS OF BEER

AJ
$5 a beer.
(to an obviously underage kid)
Happy Birthday ... have your money ready.

MARK
There ya go.

MITCHELL ARRIVES AND HEADS TOWARDS THE STORE

EDDIE
(to Mitch)
You gotta buy something before you go in. You wanna buy some vinyl or something?

DEB
Hi, Mitch.

MITCH
Joe!

CUT TO BACK ROOM

MITCH
What is going on here? Why do I get the feeling that I am being royally screwed, Joe?

JOE
Because you are Mitch. There was no money in the bag; one of my employees needed it.

MITCH
Who took it? Who took my money?

LUCAS
Mitch, this is some party. I mean it's a hell of a turn-out.

MITCH
Who're you?

LUCAS
I'm Lucas. I still work here.

MITCH
How could I forget. We're having a discussion here -

LUCAS
Mitchell I wanted to talk to you about this whole Music Town thing. Next week you're going to be the proud owner of one of many Music Towns across this great nation. Correct?

MITCH
Yes.

LUCAS
And you like this because Music Town jacks up their prices so you make more money.

MITCH
You're a smart boy.

LUCAS
Now, when Music Town comes in, Joe is out. AJ is out, and all the beautiful little tattooed, gum-chewing freaks are out as well. And it, er, pretty much goes without sating that, that I'm out.

MITCH
I wish it had gone without saying, but you don't seem to shut up.

JOE
What I think Lucas is trying to say is that I'm going to open my own store.

MITCH
You don't have the start-up capital.

LUCAS
Yes he does.

JOE
No, I don't. but I will. I will get it. Mitch, I quit.

CUT TO STORE. LUCAS AND JOE COME OUT OF BACKROOM

JOE
You knew didn't you?

LUCAS
About what?

JOE
Everything. About me, what I wanted to do.

LUCAS
I knew you weren't happy.

CUT TO OUTSIDE STORE. BERKO'S BAND START PLAYING

BERKO
(singing)
They all said life's just a bowl of cherries, but
Sometimes it seems like anything but.
Sometimes reputations outlive their applications
Sometimes fires don't go out when you're done playing with them.
I feel so funny deep inside, I wanna kiss myself goodbye
Sugarhigh.

GINA
(singing)
Got to have it really need it to get by.

BERKO
(singing)
Sugarhigh.

GINA
(singing)
Gotta feel it, can't conceal it
Sugarhigh.

BERKO
(singing)
I could go out and not even leave the house
A TV set and a bottle of wine's just fine
Crashing out on that old pull-out couch
Watching Saturday Night Live
I guess that's why -

CUT TO STORE. MITCH IS AT THE CASH REGISTER

MITCH
Thank you for coming. Bye, bye. Thank you, move along.

CUSTOMER
(handing Mitch some stuff)
These are on sale with a coupon, right?

MITCH TRIES TO USE THE CASH REGISTER AND FAILS

MITCH
Doesn't anybody work in this store?

WARREN
(showing Mitch his ID)
I do.

CUT TO OUTSIDE

BERKO
(singing)
When I think about my life
I wanna kiss myself goodbye
Sugarhigh.
Alright!

COREY IS LOOKING FOR AJ. SHE SPOTS HIM ON THE ROOF TRYING TO FIX THE SIGN.

COREY
(shouting up at AJ)
AJ! ... AJ! ... AJ!

CUT TO STORE

MITCH
Please leave. Leave the merchandise, take your cup and get out. There must be someone outisde you need to bug or something. Now!

JOE
Here's all your money, count it.

MITCH
Look, Joe. I hate this place, you love it. Let me sell it to ya. Cheap.

JOE
Thanks, you won't regret it, Mitch .... Asshole.

CUSTOMER
(taking money off Mitch)
I'll take it.

MITCH
Give me that!

CUT TO OUTSIDE

BERKO
(to Gina)
You.
(points to microphone)
Take the lead.

GINA
What?

BERKO
Go on Gina. Take it. You're on.

GINA
(singing)
I've - far and wide.
I've explored the deepest caverns of my mind
To try and find and explanation why
I get this funny feeling deep inside

BERKO
(singing)
when I think about my life
I wanna kiss myself goodbye
Sugarhigh.

GINA
(singing)
Gotta have it really need it to get by

BERKO
(singing)
Sugarhigh.

GINA
(singing)
Wanna feel it can't conceal it makes me high.

BERKO
(singing)
Sugarhigh.

GINA
(singing)
Need it now I gotta live until I die.

BERKO
(singing)
Sugarhigh.

GINA
(singing)
Can you feel it
Can you feel it
Sugarhigh!

BERKO
Sshhh ....

THE CROWD CHEERS

CUT TO JOE'S OFFICE

LUCAS
Perfect. Well, not entirely perfect.

CUT TO ROOF. COREY EMERGES.

AJ
Hi. What are you doin' up here?

COREY
You listen to me.

COREY PUSHES AJ TO THE GROUND

AJ
Hello, Corey.

COREY
You are so special and you'tr so talented and you have everything it takes - you have more than everything it takes - and you're really stupid because you don't know that.

AJ
Huh.

COREY
And I know you don't love me anymore and I know that I blew it, but at least I know that. And if you don't go to art school and if you don't understand how special you are then you know nothing.

AJ
Corey, I -

COREY
And I did love you and I still -, only I didn't realise that it really was love because it was more than love and it wasn't just some stupid feeling in my stomach like everything else. And I'll never love anybody as much as and I hate you, hate you, why did you wait so long to-

AJ
Corey, Corey, I quit. I'm going to art school. In Boston. So I can be near you.

COREY
Really?

AJ
Yeah.

COREY FALLS INTO AJ'S ARMS. AJ TWIRLS HER AROUND. THEY KISS

CUT ACROSS EMPIRE RECORDS SIGN

STAFF DANCE SCENES  *** "This is the Day" The The ***

PULL AWAY FROM BUILDING AS CREDITS START ROLLING  *** "Free" the Martinis ***

FADE TO CREDITS

FADE IN (CREDITS STILL ROLLING)

MARK AND EDDIE IN FRONT OF STORE

MARK
... that, that guy. Whatever his name is. What's his name, er, that dude with the shaved head. The liar guy.

EDDIE
Henry Rawlins?

MARK
Yeah, yeah, the guy with the tattoos all over him.

EDDIE
I admit Henry Rawlins is sort of a puss.

MARK
Yeah, he's a total puss. His lyrics suck.

EDDIE
You can't go down and put down The Misfits, man. They had, they had like, everything it took to be a great punk band. They had good bass lines, and, and like, strong guitar chords, even though there was only three, but it -

MARK
They didn't even compare to Primus, man. They were that old-school style -

EDDIE
Primus? Why get into Primus? Primus suck.

MARK
Primus is the new stuff. There's always -, I mean the, the, out with the old, in with the new kinda thing.

EDDIE
Evolution's a bad thing if Primus is what's gonna come around.

MARK
What are you talking about?

EDDIE
I'm talking about the fact that Primus has nothing, man. They've got, like, good bass lines, I'll admit that.

MARK
They have beautiful bass lines. Six string, fretless bass.

EDDIE
But they're not as good as, like, like, The Pixies. The Pixies have way better bass lines than that, than, than Primus, man.

MARK
So why didn't they stick around?

EDDIE
Well, you know, cos people wanted to do solo careers and explore themselves as single entities instead of a band.

MARK
But that's, I don't know, but that's like money, you know?

EDDIE
No, it's not about money.

MARK
Yeah it is.

EDDIE
What are you talking about. Money? It's not about money at all. It's about -

MARK
When you've got a band together, when you've got band.

EDDIE
Yeah?

MARK
And everything's going fine ....

FADE OUT TO CREDITS.
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